February 07, 2010

It's (not) Complicated



Watching It's Complicated recently I was overwhelmed by a feeling of deja vu. Then I realised I had seen the film before - except it was under the title 'Something's Gotta Give'.

So startling were the similarities, that I feel I can confidently predict what will next be cranked out of the Meyers movie machine:

A wealthy, creative, neurotic, insomniac woman of a certain age - who can cook, loves France and lives on the west/east coast of America - has a Lipitor-taking ex-husband who has left her for a younger woman. Two men are vying for her affections. One of said men has a foreplay-induced cardiac episode. Her grown-up children have an emotional crisis. She ends up with the right guy.

Hopefully, Nancy Meyers will prove me wrong. And when she does, I might be able to overlook the fact that she portrays all women in their mid-twenties (i.e. my age) as erratic home-wreckers.

November 25, 2009

Onion Marmalade

I soon realised, when I started growing veg, that there's only so much one (quite petite) person can eat. So, back in August, with more tomatoes and runner beans than I knew what to do with, I made my first ever batches of chutney. Since then, though, I've become a bit obsessed with boiling stuff up in vinegar or sugar and cramming it into jars. This has not gone unnoticed by my friends, who, perhaps in an attempt to shut me up about it, have started making jammy requests.

And that is how I came to spend my morning making onion marmalade.

I don't remember where my friend said she got the recipe from, so I'm going to appropriate it as my own.

Onion Marmalade


Makes three 225ml jars.

What you'll need:

50g unsalted butter
150g unrefined caster sugar
1tsp salt
2tsp ground pepper
Literally LOADS of onions*
and
Most of this booze...















Put the butter in a large heavy-bottomed pan on a medium heat and wait for it to go brown, but be careful not to let it burn.

Finely chop the onions and put them in the pan, coating them in the melted butter. Stir in the sugar, salt and pepper. Loosely place the lid on and leave for 30 mins. In which time you can have a tidy up. Or make yourself a sandwich and watch tv, which may or may not be what I did.

After half an hour it should look sort of like this:















Then add 1/2 a pint of red wine, 100ml of sherry vinegar and 2 tablespoons of Creme de Cassis to the pot. You might want to put the extractor fan on, or open a door or window, as the smell is a little strong while the alcohol is burning off. I don't drink, so was slaughtered after one sniff.

Leave for another half an hour, stirring occasionally so it doesn't stick to the bottom.

After which time, it will look like this:















Then simply decant into sterilised jars and label when cool. Can be eaten on the day it's made or up to a year later.

Delicious with pates, cold meats, cheese - or with anything, really.

* Well, 12 medium ones (or 675g), which is, by anyones standards, quite a lot of onions.

February 27, 2009

The Outcast - Sadie Jones

All the signs about The Outcast were good. Mariella raved about it on The Book Show, Richard & Judy had selected it as one of their Summer Reads, and, as if that wasn't enough, Sadie Jones had just been handed the Costa First Novel award for it.

I was convinced I was going to love it, and then I started reading it and then I thought I hated it and wouldn't be able to get past the first chapter and then I got over the fact that she used 'and then' all the time, and then I finished it in three sittings.

I hope it's not damning it with faint praise when I say that it was alright. It was 440 perfectly readable pages about a traumatised young man living in stifling post-war suburbia: but I think the reviewers might have been getting a bit high over-excited when they started calling it the new Atonement.

February 23, 2009

Academy Awards 2009

Well, what a night it was. I twittered intermittently throughout and - for the first time ever - managed to stay awake until they had handed out the last award. Usually I watch the red carpet on E! and then listen to the ceremony on the radio in bed, but this year I watched the whole thing on Sky. And how glad I am that I did.

The Highlights

Kate Winslet winning Best Actress (of course!)
Slumdog Millionaire sweeping the board
The musical numbers
Hugh Jackman
Jennifer Aniston keeping it together in front of Brange. Was sure she was going to cry at one point, or at least take her shoe off and throw it at Angelina.
'DON'T fall in love with me.'

The Lowlights

Stephanie Beacham in the Sky studio. She was a complete miser and seemed to think she was the authority on the subject - was willing Marc Dolan or Danny Wallace to point out that she is now working on Coronation Street. I doubt she will be back next year.

Seth Rogen and James Franco falling about laughing when the latter failed to pronounce Spielzeugland correctly. A lot of bloggers have said that they think this was the funniest moment of the night, but it wasn't: it was just unprofessional.

Best Dressed
Tina Fey


















For ages I thought Kate Winslet had nabbed it, but Tina just looked better.

(pic courtesy of Perez Hilton)

Worst Dressed

Beyonce












She usually gets it so right which is why this fish-tail flock frock just doesn't cut it. And where was her jewellery? (Ordinally Whoppi Goldberg would have won.)

February 07, 2009

BAFTA Predictions 2009

The Film BAFTAs are tomorrow and so, in time-honoured tradition, I shall have a stab at guessing who will be the big winners on the night.

(*) = Who/what I think will win.
(&) = Who/what I want to/think should win.

Best Film

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon (&)
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire (*)

Outstanding British Film

Hunger
In Bruges
Mamma Mia!
Man on Wire
Slumdog Millionaire (&) (*)

Director

Clint Eastwood [Changeling]
David Fincher [The Curious Case of Benjamin Button] (*)
Ron Howard [Frost/Nixon]
Stephen Daldry [The Reader] (&)
Danny Boyle [Slumdog Millionaire]

Original Screenplay

Burn After Reading
Changeling
I've Loved You So Long
In Bruges
Milk (&) (*)

Adapted Screenplay

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (*)
Frost/Nixon
The Reader
Revolutionary Road (&)
Slumdog Millionaire

Leading Actor

Frank Langella
Dev Patel (&)
Sean Penn
Brad Pitt
Micky Rourke (*)

Leading Actress

Angelina Jolie
Kristen Scott Thomas
Meryl Streep
Kate Winslet [Revolutionary Road] (&)
Kate Winset [The Reader](*)

Supporting Actor

Robert Downey Jr.
Brendan Gleeson (&)
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Heath Ledger (*)
Brad Pitt

Supporting Actress

Amy Adams
Penelope Cruz
Frieda Pinto
Tilda Swinton (*) (&)
Marisa Tomei

Orange Rising Star Award

Michael Cera
Noel Clarke
Michael Fassbender
Rebecca Hall (&) (*)
Toby Kebbell

**********UPDATE: WHO DID WIN IN BOLD.**********

January 20, 2009

Countdown

I can't watch the new Countdown. It's not because of the appalling way they treated Carol Vorderman. Or even because Rachel Riley is younger/prettier/gets paid more than me. No, it's because Jeff Stelling talks with his eyes shut.

There, I said it, and now that I have you won't be able to not notice it.

Sorry.

January 14, 2009

Bullies, Bitches & Bastards - Eileen Condon and Amanda Edwards

A nice feature in the Mail today about a book I worked on in August.

Amazon are selling their copies fast, so you'll have to be quick. Or buy it from The Book Depository instead.