Countdown

I can't watch the new Countdown. It's not because of the appalling way they treated Carol Vorderman. Or even because Rachel Riley is younger/prettier/gets paid more than me. No, it's because Jeff Stelling talks with his eyes shut.

There, I said it, and now that I have you won't be able to not notice it.

Sorry.

Bullies, Bitches & Bastards - Eileen Condon and Amanda Edwards

A nice feature in the Mail today about a book I worked on in August.

Amazon are selling their copies fast, so you'll have to be quick. Or buy it from The Book Depository instead.

The not-so curious incident of the dog in the night-time

5:10am - sound of whimpering by the side of the bed wakes me up.
tell dog to go back to her basket.

5:11am - get out of bed,
put dog back into her basket in hallway,
get back into bed.

5:13am - sound of whimpering by the side of the bed.

5:14am - get out of bed,
put dog back into her basket in hallway,
get back into bed.

5:20am - dog launches herself on to bed, landing precisely on my kidneys.

5:22am - dog fast asleep - underneath blanket.
have sneaking suspicion Cesar would not approve of this.

5:46am - still awake.
get up to retrieve extra blanket from airing cupboard.
walk past thermometer thingy in hallway and realise it is -8c outside.
feel bad for having made dog sleep on floor.

5:48am - return to bedroom to find dog sprawled out on pillows.

5:49am - put dog back into her basket in the hallway.

5:57am - hardly feel bad about it at all.

6:06am - tell dog she can sleep on bed, as long as she keeps my feet warm and doesn't expect to go for a walk at 8am.

8:02am - sound of whimpering by the side of the bed wakes me up.

New Year's Resolutions

1) I will not buy any more books, but read the ones I got for xmas and borrow some from friends.

2) I will no longer work at the weekend.

3) I will no longer form romantic attachments to wildly-inappropriate men.

4) I will complete my as-yet-untitled secret project by the end of February.

5) I will not be seduced with by Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

6) I will try to resist the temptation to email/call/text/DM Alice when she is at work.

7) I won't watch things on TV that I've seen twenty (or even two) times before.

8) I will start leaving feedback for sellers on eBay.

9) Oh, and I'll do something philathropic, you know, for good measure.